If you really want to be President of the United States

"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." ~Plato

It was around my sophomore year of college that I gave up my serious political aspirations. In a huff, turned off by too many smear campaigns and political scandals, I decided that someone else could be the first female president. Actually, the reasons I decided to forgo politics were identical to the reasons I decided I could not pursue being a professional actress: a certain thickness of skin and a certain willingness to plunge knives into the skin of others seemed to be pre-requisites for having any prayer at advancing through the ranks. Brains and talent would always be secondary to ruthless ambition. When it came down to it, I had a huge liability, a fatal character flaw: too nice.

So I gave up my politics and pre-law focus and set up camp in the American Studies department, deciding to focus on cultural, environmental, literary and journalistic realms (clearly, all topics far removed from any politics...). I tried to keep out of direct engagement with politics. I did note the irony that in Boston, my social/political views were labeled "moderate," yet when I moved to the Deep South I was slapped with a new label: "flaming liberal." When I went to graduate school in Ann Arbor to get a Master's in Social Work, the paradigm shifted again; relative to some of my classmates, I was no longer a liberal or even a moderate but a "borderline conservative." The funny thing was, over the course of those years, my opinions and stances never really changed. It's like living in an area of increasing urban sprawl, where your area code or zip code gets changed three times while you still live in the same house.

I took one course in the politics department when I was in graduate school. There were plenty of politics in the social work school, and plenty of classes on policy, but not really classes on politics. My politics professor, an intimidatingly brilliant man, shared an anecdote about voting choices of low-wage workers in England, not so many decades ago. Though there was a Labor party candidate, theoretically representing the interests of the working class many of the actual laborers voted for the nobleman opponent, and one worker gave the explanation: "On such things [as politics], I defer to my betters."

"Defer to my betters"? As in, the wealthy and well-bred are more deserving, automatically? A social caste system? In modern England? Difficult to fathom...

... but then again, here in the United States, bastion of democracy, we tend to elect older, privileged, good-family-name, non-minority male Presidents. In fact, it's really all we've ever done. Are we somehow subconsciously deferring to our perceived "betters"?

Rather than vote for "my better," I want to have someone better for whom to vote. Someone who has not only met the requirements of being born in this country, over 35 years ago - but who has also experienced what it's really like to live in this country. Not a career politician, but a hard-working, educated, life-experienced American citizen. I know it's a tall order... but as my genius mother and genius friend and I discussed the other day, real-world on-the-ground experience of what it's like to be an "average American" (whatever that means) is really not such a crazy idea. So, based largely on our conversation a few days ago and then some continued musing, here are the five reasonable basics that I think we should require of our presidential candidates.

PRE-REQUISITES FOR THE PRESIDENCY

1. Spend at least a year living below the poverty line. Go through the process of applying for food stamps and federal assistance, weaving your way through the beurocracy, dealing with the stigma.

2. Have a passionate interest that has zero to do with politics, and pursue it. Get rejected a few times. Fall off the horse. Get back on. (Don't subsequently use the photographs of yourself sailing as proof that you're really a fun person; just be a fun person.) If you have done nothing but work on political campaigns, first for others and then for yourself, you are automatically disqualified; you clearly cannot be president, you can only work on campaigns.

3. Travel overseas, and learn at least one foreign language. Before making decisions that impact other nations, spend some time having to obey their laws and getting to enjoy their flavors. Don't stay at ritzy hotels. Stay at hostels.

4. Be a philanthropist. Even during the period of time when you're living below the poverty line, remember that someone else has it worse, and volunteer for a literacy program, donate a dollar to medical research, spend some time with a kid who needs a mentor, listen to an older person who has stories to share. Philanthropy, after all, means "love of people." Demonstrate that love.

5. Know what it's like to be an outsider. If there is not much diversity within your own family tree, seek out diversity in your circles of friends. Go out on a limb and be "the only" sometimes - the only girl in the pick-up baseball game, the only guy in the yoga class, the only young person at the senior citizen center. You don't have to do this constantly, but you do have to do it, even if it is uncomfortable. How can you run the nation of the huddled masses yearning to breathe free if you have never known breathlessness?

I can think of many other instructive guidelines, but if someone could nail all 5 of these, that's an excellent start. Perhaps if these requirements were in place, I would rethink a bid for the presidency. After all, I'd still be too nice, but I would have taken care of all the prerequisites necessary to enable my candidacy. Which presidential hopeful in 2008 can say the same?

What other requirements would you like your president to complete?