Nobody's Body But Mine

There was a strange song on one of the children's records I listened to as a kid. Strange in hindsight: growing up, I didn't find it weird in the least. Tucked in among all the tracks from early-80's kid-music rock stars like Rafi, Gemini, and Bert & Ernie, my music collection contained a little Peter Alsop ditty called "My Body." Six years old, every time the song was in the player, I would dance around freely, jumping and swiveling and calling out these lyrics:

"My Body"

CHORUS: My body's nobody's body but mine! You run your own body, let me run mine!

My nose was made to sniff and to sneeze/To smell what I want, and to blow when I please!/My lungs were made to hold air when I breathe,I am in charge of just how much I need! (CHORUS)

My legs were made to dance me around/To walk and to run and to jump up and down!/My mouth was made to blow-up a balloon/I can eat, kiss and spit, I can whistle a tune! (CHORUS)

No one knows my body better than me/It tells me, "Let's eat!", it tells me "Go pee!"/Don't hit me or kick me, don't push or shove/Don't hug me too hard when you show me your love (CHORUS)

Sometimes it's hard to say "No!" and be strong/When those "No!" feelings come, then I know something's wrong/'Cause My body's mine from my head to my toe/Please leave it alone when you hear me say "No!" (CHORUS)

Secrets are fun when they're filled with surprise/But not when they hurt us with tricks, threats and lies… (CHORUS)

The fact that this was a "safety song," subtly teaching me to "just say no" to any unwanted intrusion into my personal space, was lost on me. I thought it was a celebration of my body back then, back when we were all young enough to genuinely celebrate our bodies: this is MY body, and I LOVE it! You have your own body that tells YOU when to pee, and mine tells ME when to pee, and it's AWESOME!

I recently remembered this song, and tracked down the lyrics above. Looking at the words that once seemed to me a joyous celebration of self, I now feel entirely new and different emotions. At what point did I learn that, in fact, bodies need to be protected? That tricks, threats, and lies inflicted by others against our physical selves, can be a harsh and painful reality?

On another, but equally important level, when did I stop celebrating my body? Safety is one issue, but so is security-- as in, when do we learn all this insecurity? When and why do most of us transition from loving our bodies to worrying whether or not other people will judge them too harshly?

We don't self-generate all this paranoia, of course; lessons are often learned through repetition and life experiences. I am struck by how frequently people think it is all right to pass judgment on bodies -- particularly on women's bodies. This past weekend, after I delivered a speech, someone said (to a colleague of mine, who he had only just met) something along the lines of "That Beth sure is cute... a little too skinny, though." Meanwhile, just a few months ago, someone else commented directly to me that I "could stand to drop a few pounds." Both times, I was in a professional or academic setting -- and the levels of frustration I have with these comments are multiple.

First of all, I clearly can't win -- I'm always too thin or too fat, apparently. It's like cold weather: always comes a little earlier than we expected, or a little later than we expected -- never right on schedule, is it? Secondly, how is my weight or appearance relevant to the speech or presentation I just gave? Not too sound overly feminist-soap-boxing, but how often do men stand up, give an engaging talk, and then receive feedback along with a hearty handshake: "Joe, I have to tell you, those pants you're wearing just aren't very flattering..."

Third -- who asked you, anyway?!

I'm beginning to recall a lesson I internalized many years ago, while dancing around a tiny duplex filled with the sounds of scratchy-vinyl music:

My body's nobody's body but mine! You run your own body! Let me run mine!


*P.S. I have no explanation for the creepy Peter Alsop record cover that Google Images yielded for me. Safety songs for children by day... movies out on the town with a mannequin by night? Well, if nothing else, Creepy Peter Alsop Album Cover reminds me that I want to see Lars & The Real Girl...