I've taken the trolley once before. It was about three years ago; I still have a photo somewhere, if I went looking for it, from that ride. In the photo, my eyes are closed. I look peaceful. It's misleading. Now I can see the hidden layers to the picture, the chaos beneath the serenity caught in the click of the lens. To the other passengers, giving a casual glance at our bench, or the photograph, everything would have seemed picturesque, serene, even enviable.
A smooth ride for the passengers bumping along the tracks. They couldn't see the darker shadows in the picture... and neither could I. My eyes were closed.There's a picture from this weekend's trolley ride, too. A self-portrait of two people, this time eyes open, squinting a little in the sun, or maybe suppressing a laugh. There weren't many other people on the trolley, and they didn't pay much attention to our picture. But I was paying attention, and grateful for what I saw. No dark shadows. A much more honest picture. A much better ride on the trolley. My eyes are open, I'm not afraid to look around, and I'm so much happier with what I'm seeing these days.
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